My Matrix

I sit here stunned by my revelations.

Equations of the past have come to light along with their deep seated foundations. How family was experienced is part of my matrix.

The strong forces of maternal culture vibrate in my matrix. Men of innovation motivated to improve and influence were part of my training even before school.Idyllic summers left me with a deep desire for closeness to the water and a sense of relaxation. In my matrix are childhood memories anchored in closeness to loved ones and the distance from stress the ocean can provide. That’s why it was so appealing!

The partners we choose who mirror our role models. My first marriage brought a delightful companion taught me so many things and resented me when I grew past him.Was it like my father? Was the situation like my grandmother who lived with us, who was quiet, compassionate and who yearned for nature.

My favorite connection was with a entrepreneur musician. Music runs deep in the waves of our family matrix, with some professors in our outer branches. Over time he really reminded me of my maternal Grandfather.

Time passes, people change, my matrix morphs to the world and I am embedded within it. The driving force I see it know was to belong somewhere!

I have been long treated like an outsider, an anomaly, that I finally understand my uniqueness. In this world of labels, I wear many, not just one.

What took me until now to realize is that my matrix is,in fact, quite unique though built with the same elements as the rest. I rearrange my foundation so as to increase the light so Ican soar to new heights.