The drive to work made me take the easiest route which goes by the homeless camp. Is that why not many take that road? Fifteen years working in downtown San Diego made me comfortable uncomfortable. Here is a poem I wrote in 2014.
Seeing/Not seeing
Walking early morning downtown San Diego Monday
The town on the verge of waking up
Choices: seeing/not seeing.
Those whose lives are on the street
Dirty, begging, sleeping
In couples, with pets, handicapped
With carts, with wheelchairs, wagons
All in your face asking for help.
So one must adopt a combination of
Seeing/not seeing as one passes by
Just showered, just off the ferry
Walking with purpose to work.
Seeing/not seeing the elderly man
Sprawled on the sidewalk dirty, left leg just a stump
On the sidewalk.
The homeless couple in their sixties huddles under a blanket together,
The crazy one with the wild eyes, all of them looking at me with envy and hope that I
Will have something to share.
Sometimes I see, sometimes I have to not see.
My empathetic heart is pained by life’s harshness.
After many years in an urban area I realized there were essentially 5 types of un-housed.
- Long time homeless who “own” their neighborhood
2. Ones wanting an argument
3. Truly crazy ones ( The president is going to buy me a hotel, do you want one?)
4. Ones just needing a place to rest.
5, The dangerous kind.
All of them street people for various reasons. I had worked downtown for many years, l left and came back and even some of them actually recognized me and welcomed me. I have a few friends that at different times in their lives experienced life on the streets. I had lost my job in another country and had a month or two on the edge of being broke and homeless. I was lucky to have friends and family that helped bring me back.
Years later people in my life find it hard to believe I was in such a desperate situation, especially when I returned to the USA. Sometimes events trigger me and I feel a touch of that terror. Terror/Freedom the efforts to “ fit in “ society can be very stressful for some. Especially true for those who never experience abundance or kindness in their lives. People who never felt the joys of family or community can feel apprehensive towards change.
It’s a growing concern nationwide, I’m feeling it’s more prevalent in the USA. Why? Cost of living in other cultures where it’s more communal tends to be less and there seems to be more compassion for those less fortunate. Food is shared more often than not and people are proud to be part of a community.
I came back to the USA in 2000 after 12 years in the Mediterranean so I could be closer to my family and old friends. The cost to do that made it difficult to travel to do just that, as work became a 24 hr habit.
Who are the homeless? some are not well: physically, emotionally. psychologically. Some hit a rough patch in the road and some found it the easiest way to support their addictions. The fast paced nature of the world and business has changed since the pandemic and the unsheltered have become lost in the process.
